LiveWorkBalance

One tip you see frequently in productivity circles is knowing when to say no. When you’re suffering from a poor work-life balance, knowing when and how to say no can be a vital step in regaining that balance.

We’ve all had times where we thought we were overloaded and someone or something is suddenly added to the list. Usually one of two things happens; we either pull through and get things done, or the house of cards tumbles and lots of things suffer.

Now, even though some of these situations can loosely be termed as successes, in general, we don’t want to hit a point where we’re straddling the knife’s edge. Averting situations like this is one of the prime reasons you need to know how to say no.

The next question that comes up is how do we know when one of these situations is imminent? Contrary to what some think, these things rarely (if ever) appear out of thin air. This is when we need to be aware; aware of our schedule, aware of our to-do’s, aware of our commitments, and most importantly, aware of ourselves. The first three points are fairly obvious, but the fourth is key. Even if we’ve failed on the situational awareness and staying organized, if we’re more self-aware, we can pick up on the cues in our own thoughts and actions that could alert us to an upcoming whirlwind. Noticing when your stress level is starting to spike, or just that general frazzled feeling can give you the time to do a quick mind sweep and review, and regain that clear situational picture before the storm hits.

When you’ve identified this type of impending situation, how can you say no? There are several ways:

Renegotiate

First, you can try to renegotiate your commitments, both the current ones on the list and the new one that’s trying to be added. This primarily involves deferral. Talk to whoever is asking (or telling) you about the new work. Review your current commitments and use that as a frame of reference for the negotiations. If they’re also responsible for some of the other commitments, perhaps they want to delay one of them until later because the new one is more important, or maybe they’ll realize that what they’ve already asked for is more important, and will delay the new request.

An important thing to remember is that many of our commitments are self imposed, and you might be renegotiating with yourself. However, and this is key, make sure you treat commitments with yourself on the same level as you treat commitments to others. Doing otherwise and always deferring your own goals and activities is definitely a quick road towards poor balance and potentially burnout.

Delegate

Another option is to delegate the task to someone else. Whether this be a co-worker, friend, or family member, don’t be afraid to ask for help. In some cases, you might even be able to provide assistance to this person, but just aren’t able to take the lead role as might otherwise be required.

Just say no

No, this isn’t an after school special on drug use or peer pressure, but the most straightforward, and probably most difficult of the options. The ability to just say know can depend on the situation, but it is sometimes necessary to draw the line. If you can’t renegotiate or delegate the commitment, then you’re back to saying either yes or no.

When saying no, there are a few ways to make it easier. A big part of it goes back to knowing your current commitments. Knowing what you’re already committed to and why makes saying no in any of its forms far easier to justify, both to yourself and others. When the person asking for more is your boss/significant other/best friend/et cetera, being able to list your current commitments can be a key action towards gaining his or her agreement.

Many of these problems are avoidable through being organized. By knowing what you’re doing you can be more proactive in managing your commitments. It also lends extra credence to your “no’s”. If you’re organized and productive and you say know, people will assume it’s because you’re already extremely busy. However, if you’re disorganized, people may then think you’re saying no because you just can’t pull everything together.

So be sure to look at situations to ensure you’re not over committing. Over committing can lead to broken commitments and missed deadlines, or hitting the deadlines but with shoddy work, whether that work is a quarterly report for your boss or planning your daughter’s birthday party. All of these things can have significant negative impacts in all facets of your life, so knowing when to say no can be a great tool to maintain the balance.

Cheers,

Adam

Posted on December 4th, 2007 under General • Tags: organization, proactive, stress, work-life balance. •  Print This Post •  Email This Post • RSS 2.0 feed • Leave a response, or trackback